Charles Bukowski: piss

piss

remember once I was sitting in this hotel

room when my woman came in drunk and said,

"Christ, I couldn't hold it, I had to piss in the

elevator!"

I was drunk too, I was barefoot and in

my shorts.

I got up and walked out the door and down

the hall and pushed the elevator

button.

it came up.

the door opened.

the elevator was empty but sure enough

there in the corner was the

puddle.

as I was standing there a man and a

woman came out of their place

and walked toward the

elevator.

the door was beginning to close

so I held it open with my hand

so they could get

on.

as the door began to close I heard the

woman say,

"that man was in his shorts."

and just as it closed I heard the man say,

"and he pissed in the elevator."

I went back to the room and told her,

"they think I pissed in the elevator."

"who?" she asked.

"people."

"what people?"

"the people who saw me standing

in my shorts."

"well, screw them," she said.

she was sitting there drinking a glass

of wine.

"take a bath," I said.

"you take a bath," she said.

"at least take a shower," I said.

"you take a shower," she said.

I sat down and poured a glass of

wine.

we were always arguing about

something.